We've all been there. No matter your profession, you've most likely dealt with a difficult coworker at some point in your life. For lawyers, difficult people are part of the job. Opposing counsel, agitated clients, unreasonable witnesses...but what happens when the difficult person sits one desk over?
Whether it's passive-aggressive emails, clashes between colleagues, constant interruptions, or straight up disrespect, dealing with a difficult coworker can feel like a major challenge. You've got enough on your plate dealing with stressful cases, long hours, and the overall high-pressure legal world. And if you're in a supervisory role, the wrong response can lead to even bigger consequences under workplace protection laws.
So how do you handle it without escalating tension, calling your reputation into question, or drifting into a legal gray area? Let's break it down.
But first: Employment lawyers, don't miss our upcoming CLE, "From Policy to Practice: Managing Challenging Employee Relations Within the Framework of the NLRA and Other Workplace Protection Laws" on Wednesday, November 19. This course will dive deep into the role of the NLRA, how to address disruptive employees without crossing legal lines, balancing empathy with accountability, and much more. It's a must for anyone who supervises others or handles workplace policy!
Avoid labels. In this day and age, people are quick to judgment and slapping down labels. If you're in this sort of situation, resist from doing so. Focus on the behavior of the difficult coworker instead of their personality. Detach emotion from observation and zero in on the specific behavior that's affecting your work instead of immediately writing off your coworker as "toxic" or "lazy."
Framing your concerns objectively keeps things professional and makes your feedback more likely to be heard. It also protects you from sounding accusatory or triggering defensiveness. For example, pointing out, "In yesterday's meeting, I noticed you interrupted me several times before I finished speaking," might lead to a more productive conversation than saying, "Stop interrupting me, you're always so rude and dismissive." This could feel like an attack on their character and lead to a more aggressive confrontation. Speaking of...
Choose calm over confrontation. Collaboration is key in legal workplaces...well, every workplace, to be honest. It's difficult to work together when there are hard feelings and sometimes it's tempting to try to "win" the argument by getting personal. Instead, take a step back if tempers start to flare. Calm, strategic responses are what win the long game (but you already knew that didn't you?).
Take a deep breath before responding to a rude comment. Sleep on that sassy email draft and see how you feel about it the next day. Opt for neutral language and rise above personal attacks, even if the other party doesn't. In other words, be the lawyer you were trained to be!
Be direct, yet constructive. You're on the same team so you likely have the same goal. A simple reminder of this might help clear the air and prevent resentment from brewing. If it's appropriate to do so, have a one-on-one conversation with your coworker. For example, "I've noticed some tension between us recently and I'd like to find a way to work together more smoothly for the greater good of the team." Be respectful, yet clear and concise. Use language that won't put them on the defensive.
This can open the door to resolution and shows professionalism on your part. And sometimes, you'd be surprised by how many people have no idea that they're being difficult!
Document everything. Unfortunately, there are times where calm words can only take you so far. If a coworker's behavior crosses the line into the unacceptable—harassment, discrimination, retaliation—a paper trail is critical. Save incriminating emails. Document dates, times, and details of incidents. Take notice of witnesses who could back you up. Documentation can protect your rights and provide context if the matter escalates internally or legally.
If it comes to this, keep it on the down low. Don't mention it to anyone except to HR or a supervisor, if needed.
Know when (and how) to escalate. If your coworker's behavior violates firm policy, workplace laws, or creates a hostile environment, don't hesitate to escalate appropriately (especially if you're in a leadership role). Certain unacceptable behaviors must be escalated immediately. Before taking action, define the issue in clear, objective terms and have a record of incidents ready to back you up. Just like in court, you'll need evidence and witnesses to back up your claim.
Before you bring the issue to HR, consider whether it's appropriate to raise the concern with a supervisor first. If your firm or company has a certain protocol, be sure to follow it. If you're not sure what to do, you can always consult with a trusted mentor or colleague. Just be sure to use discretion. Avoid venting or turning the issue into office gossip; keep it professional and focused on resolving the situation.
At the end of the day, this is about creating a healthy working environment. You can't control your coworkers, but you can control how you respond to the difficulties they might raise. No matter what, always lead with professionalism, confidence, and compliance.
Ready to learn more? Register for our webcast!
